The Other Half of Healing: What Your Body is Waiting For
A somatic reflection for therapists, caregivers, and seekers doing deep inner work
Have you done years of therapy—but still feel stuck?
You’re not alone. Many of my clients are highly self-aware, deeply committed to healing, and have worked with parts, patterns, and trauma for years. But something in the body still doesn’t settle.
This article explores why that might be. And what your nervous system might still be waiting for.
How This Started: A Personal Story
This part of my work didn’t begin with a training. It started with my son.
He’s autistic, and although he hasn’t experienced ‘big T’ psychological trauma, his body often feels unsafe in the world because his sensory system processes input differently.
Through supporting him in occupational therapy, I began to see things I hadn’t noticed before. I started learning about the sensory systems that shape our basic felt sense of safety: proprioception, vestibular input, interoception.
And then I realized—these patterns weren’t just his. They were mine too. And they were showing up in my clients.
Highly capable women in midlife, often therapists themselves. Doing deep work. Still feeling ungrounded, tense, or disconnected.
It was like there was a missing layer—a layer of somatic support the body had never fully received. Not just the kind of support I’d learned through Somatic Experiencing, which focuses on processing trauma stored in the body, but something else—something the OT world understands well: the developmental sensory foundations that some nervous systems never got the chance to build. This wasn’t about releasing what was stuck. It was about nourishing what had never been developed in the first place.
What I Mean by “Missing Pieces”
These patterns may be connected to trauma, but not always. They are like somatic gaps—areas where the nervous system didn’t get what it needed to feel safe, connected, and responsive.
This level of healing isn’t about fixing something broken. It’s about discovering body-based abilities that never had the chance to develop—because of trauma, neurodivergence, or simply a mismatch between the nervous system and the world.
These patterns often live below awareness but affect everything:
How grounded or present we feel
How clearly we sense our needs
How well we tolerate emotion, closeness, or rest
They are, quite literally, the foundation beneath all the work we do in therapy.
When Talk Therapy Isn’t Enough
In IFS, depth psychology, and other inner work, we learn to meet our parts with compassion and curiosity. But sometimes—even after years of this—the body still won’t soften.
That doesn’t mean the therapy isn’t working. It means your nervous system may still be waiting for something more basic: the felt sense of physical safety.
Insight is powerful. But it’s not sensory.
A protector part may keep gripping because the body doesn’t know where it is in space. An inner child may not rest because she’s never had the experience of being grounded or held—physically.
When we bring somatic support to the body—not to override the therapy, but to help it land—the nervous system begins to trust. And that trust deepens everything else.
Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Your Nervous System Has a Ladder
Polyvagal Theory (developed by Stephen Porges) offers a map for understanding the body's reactions to safety and danger. Deb Dana popularized it through the "ladder" metaphor, which describes three key states:
Ventral Vagal: calm, open, connected
Sympathetic: anxious, activated, ready to fight or flee
Dorsal Vagal: shut down, frozen, disconnected
We move up and down this ladder all the time. But when we get stuck near the bottom, life feels hard—even if things are technically “fine.”
Many of my clients aren’t stuck because they haven’t done enough therapy. They’re stuck because their bodies haven’t received the physical signals of safety needed to support ventral states.
Those signals don’t come from thinking. They come from the body:
Pressure
Movement
Rhythm
Touch
Warmth
Breath
Sometimes trauma blocks these signals. Other times, it's a sensitive nervous system trying to live in a fast, noisy world.
Where to Go From Here
This article introduces the idea of somatic "missing pieces." If you're curious about what these sensory systems actually are—and how they show up in daily life—read my next article: What the Body Still Needs.
We’ll break down the four core areas of sensory nourishment:
Proprioception (knowing where your body is)
Vestibular input (movement and balance)
Interoception (awareness of inner states)
Tactile input (safe, nourishing touch)
Want to understand more about Polyvagal Theory and how to tell where you are on the ladder? Stay tuned for another related article: Climbing the Ladder, where we’ll explore practical strategies for working with these states.
These pieces are designed to stand alone—but they also support one another. Together, they offer a layered, compassionate way to support the nervous system in returning to presence, connection, and the felt experience of wholeness.
