The Power of the Therapist Embodying Self-Energy or Essence
As therapists, we strive to create a space where our clients feel truly seen, heard, and held. This requires more than technical skill or intellectual understanding; it calls for our ability to embody Self-energy—the calm, compassionate, and centered presence that invites trust and healing. In the language of the Enneagram, we might call this essence. While Self-energy is an Internal Family Systems (IFS) term and essence is rooted in the Enneagram, both describe the same universal quality of presence: our truest, most authentic state of being.
Understanding the distinction between embodying Self-energy or essence versus imitating it can profoundly impact our therapeutic presence and the outcomes for our clients.
What Are Self-Energy and Essence?
Both IFS and the Enneagram describe a core state of being that transcends our protective patterns or personality defenses:
In IFS, Self-energy is our inherent state of calm, confidence, curiosity, and compassion. It is the energy we embody when we are not being led by protective or wounded parts.
In the Enneagram, essence represents the higher qualities of each type—our divine nature, free from the fixations or habits of personality. It reflects the most liberated, open, and connected version of ourselves.
These two perspectives weave beautifully together, highlighting that when we lead from this core state, we create a transformational space for healing—for both our clients and ourselves.
Imitation vs. Embodiment
Sometimes, in our efforts to show up as therapists, parts of us step forward and imitate Self-energy or essence. These parts often mean well, trying to protect us or help us meet the expectations of the "therapist role." But when these parts lead, they often mimic the behaviors or qualities of essence without truly embodying them. Here’s how this might look, integrating both IFS and the Enneagram:
People-pleasing parts or Type 2 mannerisms may try to project warmth and attentiveness, but this can feel overly accommodating or subtly inauthentic, leaving the therapist drained.
Overachieving parts or Type 3 tendencies might focus on presenting an image of competent calmness, but this can create a sense of striving or performance rather than genuine presence.
Conflict-avoiding parts or Type 9-like behaviors might suppress their own discomfort to appear peaceful and grounded, but this can lead to disengagement or a lack of attunement.
These imitative energies can feel “off” to clients, even if they can’t articulate why, creating subtle barriers to connection and trust.
The Therapeutic Impact of Embodying Self-Energy
When we embody Self-energy or essence, our presence resonates with authenticity, creating a powerful foundation for healing. This embodiment fosters:
Safety and Trust: Clients sense they are in the presence of someone who is truly grounded and attuned, not performing or managing.
Co-Regulation: Our embodied calmness and compassion help clients access their own Self-energy or essence.
Deep Healing: By modeling essence or Self-energy, we invite clients into their own wholeness, helping them recognize the essence beyond their personality patterns.
For example, a Type 6 therapist leading from essence might embody a profound sense of trust and inner stability, reassuring clients not through words but through their grounded presence. Similarly, in IFS, a therapist connected to their Self-energy offers calm curiosity that creates space for the client’s wounded parts to emerge safely.
Moving from Imitation to Embodiment
Cultivating the ability to embody Self-energy or essence is an ongoing practice. Here are ways to integrate both IFS and the Enneagram into this process:
Self-Reflection: Notice where your protective parts or Enneagram type tendencies might be stepping forward in session. Are you leading with genuine presence or falling into habitual strategies?
Somatic Awareness: Practice grounding techniques that connect you to your body and essence, such as breathwork, nature walks, or mindful movement.
Internal Dialogue: Using IFS, dialogue with the parts of you that might be imitating Self-energy. Reassure them that they don’t need to lead and thank them for their efforts.
Reconnect with Essence: Use the Enneagram’s higher qualities as anchors. For example:
A Type 2 therapist might focus on cultivating unconditional care without attachment to being needed.
A Type 3 therapist might relax into the truth that their worth doesn’t depend on performance.
A Type 9 therapist might engage more actively, trusting that their presence alone is valuable.
Ongoing Support: Engage in therapy, coaching, or supervision that helps you stay connected to your own essence or Self-energy.
Essence and Self-Energy in Action
When we embody our essence or Self-energy, we model what it means to live from a place of wholeness. This is a powerful gift for our clients, who often sense the authenticity of our presence and feel inspired to access their own essence. At the same time, this practice enriches our own experience as therapists, grounding us in alignment and authenticity.
The therapeutic relationship is not just about techniques or strategies; it is about being—showing up fully, with all parts acknowledged but allowing Self-energy or essence to lead. This is the gift of true presence: a space where healing, growth, and transformation naturally unfold.
